Expectations and self-care

What expectations did you carry into the new year?

I think that once you enter Bake Off, there are a lot of expectations, from others and often, from yourself. Most of them are positive but they can quickly turn into pressure if you’re not careful. There’s a constant pull to keep up, especially on social media, where it sometimes feels like you should be doing more. For some bakers, this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity can take over their lives and they put everything on hold. I entered Bake Off without any expectation, just to have fun and enjoy the experience. I didn’t even know what Instagram was at the time! It was only after I joined that I was told I should probably open an account. Throughout it all, I tried hard not to put too much pressure on myself. That said, I did take a risk and write my book. Nursing has taken a back seat to see if I can make a go of it. I am fully committed to writing my second and third book as well as serving you here on this website. We shall see what it brings.

What emotions tend to surface for you in January?

January can be a sad month with grey skies and endless rain which can make it easy to retreat into your own world. Before you know it, those long, dull days can feel quite depressing. Like anyone else, I have my bad days and good days. When those dull days come I always to try cheer myself up - it doesn’t need to be anything special; sometimes a bunch of daffodils, a box of chocolates, going for a walk, calling a friend or baking a cake. Whatever brings you comfort or joy, give yourself permission to enjoy it. Take a minute for yourself. Self-care is the most important.

What would it look like to move gently instead of pushing harder?

This year, I want to spend more time with my children. My eldest is now 12, and I can see the subtle shift of him growing up. He’s becoming more independent, more confident, and, little by little, he needs me less and less. I know that this is a natural part of growing up. I’m learning to gently loosen my grip, to let him make his own decisions and allow room for mistakes and to trust that he’ll come to me when he’s ready to talk about them.

As a mum, letting go is one of the hardest lessons to learn. Our instinct is to protect and to fix.  But stepping back is sometimes the greatest act of love and it’s a journey I’m learning to take one moment at a time.

How do you ‘start strong’ even when you’re exhausted?

Some days, I’m exhausted before I even wake up, ha! My brain seems to work overtime through the night, and I often open my eyes feeling more tired than when I went to sleep. There’s no magic fix to make that feeling disappear overnight, but I’ve learned that how you care for yourself makes all the difference. It may sound a little cheesy, but taking time for yourself is essential.

For some people, that’s going to the gym. For others, it’s making small, healthier food choices. Sometimes, for me, that can make a huge difference. If I eat a fresh salad, I genuinely feel more energised. I also struggle to get enough vitamin D from my diet, so I take supplements and they really do help. One of my favourite energy boosters, though, is taking a moment when the sun comes out, and letting those warm rays hug my face. It lifts my mood instantly. And of course, a good cup of coffee and a chat with friends always gives me a boost.

How do you usually respond when life feels dull instead of exciting?

I believe that life only becomes dull if we allow it to. Whenever I catch myself slipping into that mindset, I go and buy some flowers. It never fails to lift my spirits. Not just in that moment, but for days afterwards. Each time I walk past them, I’m reminded of how wonderful it is to still be here, to be living and experiencing life. I’ll be sharing more about this in my next book. These reminders I’ll carry forever.

What’s one small comfort that makes January feel easier for you?

If I’m honest, the biggest comfort in January is knowing that February is just around the corner, ha! January can feel long and heavy, so having something brighter to look forward to makes all the difference. February, to me, is the month of love. And yes, we do celebrate it, not for us but mostly for the kids. The boys take Valentine’s Day very seriously and are always quick to remind their dad that he needs to treat me well. He insists that Valentine’s Day is really about him, but they absolutely refuse to listen!

Don’t forget, our 7 Days of Challenge is coming up soon, and of course, it will be all about Valentine’s. Something lovely to look forward to, and the perfect way to ease out of January and into a month filled with love.

What would you like to carry into the rest of the year?

I would like to keep up my positive attitude and just be me, because I’m told that’s what people love about me! I want to share my knowledge and life experiences with those that need it. I want to inspire people and remind them that it is okay to be who you are.

How did you support yourself this month?

This month was a difficult one as I broke my shoulder at the beginning of January and so all of my plans went out of the window. Life suddenly felt very different. Tasks I took for granted became hard and I had to rely on others far more than I’m used to. My husband became my right hand, bless him. His patience has been incredible, and I’m so grateful for the way he has supported me. There were moments when I felt helpless and even a bit of a nuisance, but I reminded myself that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Now I am putting January behind me and concentrating on a new month.

What does ‘enough’ look like for you right now?

Saying ‘enough’ or even ‘no’ is one of the hardest things for me to do, ha! I’m far tougher on myself than I ever am on anyone else, and my expectations for myself are always set very high. I am learning though that when things don’t turn out exactly the way I imagined, I have to remind myself that good enough is still good. Perfection isn’t always necessary. Sometimes, a quiet word with yourself is all that is needed, to remind yourself that enough really is enough.

I hope January treated you kindly, and that you’re stepping into February with renewed hope, fresh energy, and plenty to look forward to.

Read my other blog posts here.