Q&A - the story and inspiration behind my new book

I Didn’t Plan on Writing This Book…

Thinking back, it’s actually a really funny story how the idea of this book came to be.

When I entered The Great British Bake Off, one of the most common questions the bakers asked each other was, “Are you going to write a book after the show?” I remember thinking, Why?

To be completely honest, I had never really looked into previous GBBO bakers or what life looked like for them after the tent. I simply didn’t realise that publishing cookbooks was something many of them went on to do. I love reading, and I love buying books but because I always created my own recipes, I didn't really own a cookbook.

But now, I see things a little differently!

The Question That Changed Everything

I still remember the day the GBBO bakers were announced. Soon after, my community found out that I was going to be on the show. One morning during the school run, a fellow school mum stopped me to congratulate me. Then she asked the question. “Are you planning on writing a book?”

Inside my head, my immediate response was, Are you crazy? I wouldn’t know where to start. I smiled, shook my head, and quickly dismissed the idea.

“You should. People would love it," she replied.

I smiled again and moved on but later, I felt surprisingly disappointed in myself. Not because I wasn’t writing a book, but because I didn’t trust myself enough to even consider it.

A Little Belief Goes a Long Way

“I can help,” she added with the most encouraging smile. “If you ever change your mind.”

And somehow, that was all it took. Fast forward to today, and here we are. Whenever I doubt myself or feel unsure about our progress, she’s the one who reassures me and reminds me that we’re doing just fine. So, a huge thank you for her encouragement, her belief, and for helping me take that first step when I didn’t think I could. Sometimes, all it takes is one person asking the right question at the right time.

I Wrote Be Free Because…

After writing this book, I’ve come to realise something incredibly important: my personal stories matter - not just to me, but to so many other people too. Be Free is not only a cookbook., it's a book of stories that many people can relate to. In that sense, it isn’t just my book; it belongs to everyone who has ever felt in such a dark place they don’t know where to turn.

This journey, this success - it isn’t mine alone. It’s ours. Without people like you, reading this right now, I wouldn’t be here. Truly. Thank you for being part of this with me.

The Line That Still Gives Me Chills

There is one line in the book that still sends shivers down my spine every time I read it:

“He grew angrier, snatched the gun and pressed the barrel against my forehead. Click. The chamber was empty. It’s your lucky day," he said flatly.

I will never forget that night. There was a moment in my life when the circumstances around me could have turned me into a killer - or left me killed. And yet, somehow, my life turned from the nightmare it was to me being the luckiest person I could ever be.

Be Free is my reminder - and hopefully yours - that even in the darkest moments, you can survive and walk away stronger.

Why This Line Is One of the Most Important Parts of the Book

There is one sentence in Be Free that holds everything I wanted to say about survival and hope:

“The walls of my home were dark, but I learnt to find windows that gave me light.”

When I finally left home and became free, I closed the door behind me and never looked back. I didn’t revisit the past. I became Nella. I left Petra behind those doors and didn’t let her out again. To write this book, I had to do the one thing I had avoided for so long – I had to open that door. I relived the memories again and again, walking through stories I had carefully locked away. And in doing so, I realised something powerful: no matter what I was facing, I never gave up. Even in the darkest walls, I always searched for a window. I always found light.

That is why this line matters so much. And that is why it matters for you, my amazing supporters, to see that no matter how dark things feel, there is light at the end.

Writing This Book Took Courage

Writing this book took courage I didn’t know I still had. The emotions were, and still are, raw and real. The stories within the pages of my book continue to take my breath away when I read them again. Each one blends baking and childhood memories. Be Free is not just about what I baked, but why I baked. And above all, it’s about never giving up.

Once I Started Writing, I Couldn’t Stop

It was hard. There were days when I wanted to quit, days when the memories felt too raw. But I didn’t stop, because the message behind these stories matters. Survival matters. There were moments when I had to read my own words again and again, then rewrite them, softening some because they felt too heavy for a cooking book. Some stories were incredibly painful to revisit, but they are my life. And every month, every week, every day, every hour, every second, someone somewhere is living through the same trauma. It’s important for people to know that happiness can come after pain. That good things can happen to good people. This is why I believe everything happened the way it did - because survival is powerful, and the reward does come.

One Thing This Book Will Change for You

This book will show you that our hearts are big and our minds are even bigger. It will remind you that you are strong and unbeatable, no matter what life puts in your path.

After reading Be Free, you may start to see things differently. And I hope you carry this with you: whatever you are going through right now, you are stronger than you think.

Even now, when I read the stories again, it brings a tear to my eyes. I realise how much I admire that little girl, Petra.

People often ask, “What would you say to your younger self?” But I think it should be the other way around. Children are innocent, yes, but they are also incredibly powerful. Sometimes, we should go back down memory lane and let our younger selves speak to us. They would say: ‘Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.’

If You’ve Been Waiting for a Sign…

Sometimes, just waking up in the morning is the sign you’ve been waiting for. It means you are in the right place, on the right path, even when it doesn’t feel that way. Be Free is here to remind you: life can be hard but what matters most is what we choose to take from those moments. We can turn pain into strength and turn something bad into a positive. No matter how many obstacles stand in your way, you can change your life, and change your story. If you needed a sign today to keep going, this is it. You are stronger than you think.  

You’re Not Alone

This past year has shown me something incredible: no matter what you are going through - baby loss, cancer, childhood trauma - you are not alone.

I have met so many people here who have been through, or are still going through, experiences similar to mine. Every single one of you matters to me. I am reading your messages. I am listening to your stories. And I am doing my very best to reply to as many of you as I can. Recently, someone reached out to ask if I could record a video message for a dear friend who is currently in hospital, going through chemotherapy. Whenever I receive requests like this, I give everything I have because behind every message is a real person. You are important. Your journey matters. And even on the days when it feels unbearably hard, please remember this: you are not walking this path alone.

If This Book Speaks to You, You Belong Here…

I truly believe this book speaks to so many people, and because of that, I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart, to everyone who has ordered Be Free. Your support means more to me than I can ever put into words.

My Favourite Chapter in the Book…

I have two, and I genuinely can’t choose between them. The first chapter and the last chapter are very different, but they share one powerful thing in common: they are both about survival. These chapters exist because they are deeply personal. Growing up, my mother didn’t want me. I was a constant reminder of her own trauma. And yet, despite everything, I still love her. Even though she tried to get rid of me, she eventually bonded with me, and now, as a mother myself, I understand her in a way I couldn’t before. I will never forget what happened. But I forgive her. And I love her deeply.

The final chapter is just as personal. If my father hadn’t been through so much darkness, and if we hadn’t lived through everything we did together, I wouldn’t be here today. My path would have been completely different. I would never have met my husband. I would never have had my beautiful children.

I have always loved my father, and I adored him. When I look in the mirror, I can see him. I am like him in so many ways, but there is one difference: I didn’t give up. I faced the darkness, overcame it, and left those demons behind. And still, no matter what happened, I love him deeply.

I Never Imagined This Would Happen…

I am so incredibly proud - of myself and my friend, Eve. It was just the two of us who created this book. From the very first recipe to the photographs, the design, the baking, and the stories - from cover to cover. And that still amazes me. So, well done to us! Thank you to every single person who has supported Be Free. Every share, every message, every review truly matters. If you can, please leave us a review, share the book on Instagram, TikTok, or any social platform. Helping spread the word helps spread the love, and that means everything to us. Thank you for being here. Thank you for believing in this book. And thank you for being part of this journey.

If You Love My Book…

If you’ve read Be Free, I would love to hear from you. Please leave a comment or share your feedback. This is the first book of three, and if there’s anything we can improve for the next one, I want to know. Your thoughts matter to me more than you realise.

And if you love the book just the way it is, please tell me that too! Those messages mean the world.

If you don’t have the book yet, you can order it online through Amazon or Barnes & Noble. And if you’d like a personalised message inside your copy, you can order directly through my website:👉 https://www.nellyghaffar.com/

With all my love,

Nelly